


Intergalactic Cats: The Arrivals (aka The Kitten Series)

by LeesaPerrie



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-11-15
Updated: 2010-10-13
Packaged: 2018-12-17 17:45:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,800
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11856522
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LeesaPerrie/pseuds/LeesaPerrie
Summary: Set after The Return, so a future fic of sorts. Just a light-hearted bit of fluffiness. Each chapter is a new fic in the series, four fics in all.





	1. Intergalactic Cats: The Arrivals

**Intergalactic Cats: The Arrivals  
By Leesa Perrie**

No one could explain how the cat found its way into Cheyenne Mountain, let alone how it found its way down into the bowels of the SGC. Certainly no one could explain how it found its way into a jumper, hiding amongst some crates of supplies heading for Atlantis.

The first that anyone knew about this intergalactic stowaway was when the jumper arrived at Atlantis, via the intergalactic bridge, and the crates were being moved. At that point, the marines moving the supplies got a shock as an angry, frightened and very pregnant female cat shot out of the jumper and disappeared into the depths of the jumper bay.

A quick alteration of the biometric sensors, and a suitable humane trap from the xenobiologists that was baited with food, soon located and trapped the female intruder. The orders were to take her back to Earth when the jumper returned, but the cat decided that now was a good time to have her kittens. It was not advisable to return the cat whilst in the midst of child, or kitten, birth, so she was moved to the lab of one of the xenobiologists, who had worked in a veterinary practice as a teenager. 

The cat had five kittens, allowing them to suckle and washing them carefully as a good mother cat would. Unfortunately, two hours after the last kitten was born, she passed away. It was discovered that she had been riddled with cancer, and it was a minor miracle that the kittens had been born at all.

Of course, the kittens needed to be fed and looked after. The xenobiologist with the veterinary nurse experience took this job on, and taught several volunteers in how to look after them as well. Despite all the efforts of the surrogate ‘mothers’, three of the kittens died within the first week. The last two, both females, survived and were growing into big strong kittens. 

At six weeks, the decision was made to send them back to Earth for adoption, as they were now strong, healthy and old enough to survive without their surrogate parents.

There was an outcry from most of the scientists, and many of the military too. The kittens were seen as mascots, even more so because of their difficult start in life, and the fact that they had survived against all the odds. Elizabeth feared a revolt, of sorts, and wasn’t too surprised when they went missing the day before being returned to Earth. The biometric sensors couldn’t pick them up, so she knew that one of the people involved had enough knowledge to either tamper with the sensors, or know how to shield the kittens from them.

She asked Rodney for a list of people capable of doing this, which he duly provided. Working down the list, she was met with denials and claims of innocence, which didn’t surprise her either.

It was two days after the kittens disappearance, and in a staff meeting she noticed that Carson’s eyes seemed red, and that he was sniffling. After the meeting, she asked him if he was alright. He admitted to having a mild allergic reaction, but that it was getting better now. Nothing for her to worry about.

It wasn’t until after he had gone, that she remembered that he was allergic to cats.

Clue number one, perhaps.

She headed down to the infirmary, and asked Carson who he had been in contact with prior to his allergic reaction. He prevaricated, in the end saying he couldn’t really pinpoint when the symptoms started, or who he had been around at that time. He didn’t deny that it was his cat allergy, at least.

Elizabeth was about to demand access to his records, so that she could see who he had treated today, when Rodney bustled in, and stopped short, surprised to she her here. He backed up slightly, muttering that it, whatever it was, could wait, and turned to leave. She noticed his hand had a bandage on it.

Clue number two. 

When asked what had happened to his hand, he stuttered that it was nothing really, and Carson jumped in the say Rodney had burnt his hand after spilling coffee on it, but that it wasn’t anything serious. He even made out that the bandage was more to shut Rodney up than actually being needed. Rodney, of course, huffed in annoyance at that.

And then Carson sneezed several times.

Clue number three.

Raising an eyebrow, she turned to Rodney, who was looking rather sheepish, though he quickly pushed that aside when he realised she was watching him. Didn’t he have a cat he left behind on Earth, and didn’t he admit to missing said cat at some point in the past?

“You know, it’s just occurred to me,” she started, “that the list I asked you to supply about who could fool the sensors didn’t have your name on it.”

“Oh, well, that goes without saying, doesn’t it?” He said, putting on his most conceited face.

“Or maybe you were hoping I’d be so caught up with the list that it wouldn’t occur to me to consider you a suspect?”

“No, no, that’s not the case.”

Rodney was a terrible liar. She smiled, and his face fell at the sight. Carson sneezed a few more times.

“Judging by Carson’s reaction to you, you’ve been in contact with the kittens recently, haven’t you?”

“Er, no, it’s just a…coincidence…”

“Ach, lad, you’re an awful liar.” Carson muttered between sneezes, “and you should have changed your clothes before coming down here…”

“Um, yes, sorry about that…”

“Rodney,” she said, gaining his attention, “where are they?”

“Not telling,” he said, crossing his arms over his chest, wincing slightly when the action rubbed his injured hand.

“Rodney…” she warned.

“No, not telling. You’re not sending them back to Earth.” He jutted his chin out, defiance in his eyes.

“What happened to your hand?” she asked, changing tactics.

“One of the kittens got a wee bit carried away and scratched him good and proper,” Carson put in.

“They were just playing,” Rodney defended them, “and it’s not like it’s all that bad. And I’m still not telling you where they are.”

“I see. Then, Dr McKay, I’m going to have to take action. You’re confined to your quarters…”

“Oh, yes, until when? The next crisis that only I can solve, hmm? Or the next time Sheppard and _my_ team get into trouble because the scientist you’ve replaced me with isn’t up to it, and only I can drag their sorry asses out of danger? Until when, Elizabeth? Until I resign and go back to Earth, and adopt a certain two kittens myself, maybe?”

“Rodney…”

“No, do what you think you have to, but I’m not giving them up.”

Damn stubborn mule of a man, she thought. What was she supposed to do? Carson was watching her with narrowed eyes, and it was clear that even he was in on the conspiracy to keep the kittens, and the man was allergic to them! 

She had security escort Rodney to his quarters, and made sure a guard would be on his door at all times. His laptop had been confiscated, and he was to have no visitors unless she sanctioned it. She didn’t hold out much hope of gaining his cooperation, but she couldn’t let him undermine her authority without some sort of punishment.

A day passed, and Rodney was unrepentant. 

Another day passed, and she realised that Sheppard had been in to see Rodney more than once, despite her orders. Shortly after this, the water in her shower went cold and stayed that way. Radek merely said something about a minor problem with the system, and that he would get onto it right away. The water was still cold the next day.

Whenever she went to the mess hall, they had always run out of her favourite food. Her coffee was always too cold, too milky or too sweet, unless she made it herself. Weekly reports were delivered late, if at all. A myriad of other little slights or inconveniences occurred during the five days Rodney was confined to his quarters.

On the sixth day, she went to see him again, to find him asleep. Draped over him were the two kittens, one pure black, one silvery grey. No wonder the guard had been reluctant to let her in.

She moved over to the kittens, picking up the black one, intending to take both of them and find a cage until she could send them back to Earth. But the one she picked up purred and snuggled against her, and she found herself petting the soft silky fur. It looked at her with large kitten eyes full of pleasure, and the purring increased.

Damn it, she was the person in charge here. She had to be tough. She hadn’t given into Kolya’s demands when he tortured John with the wraith and she damn well wasn’t going to fall for the charms of a couple of kittens. She wasn’t!

But it just kept purring, and the fur was so soft…

She sat down in a chair, and the kitten, after kneading her lap for a few moments, curled up, still purring. As she watched Rodney sleeping, she noticed how…peaceful he seemed. She knew he suffered from nightmares, Carson had told her in confidence that they had grown worse over the last few months, but now…he seemed untroubled. 

Looking back to the bundle of fur purring away in her lap, she sighed. Carefully, she picked the kitten up and slipped it back on top of Rodney, where it soon settled onto the back of his neck.

Quietly slipping out of the room, she nodded to the guard and relieved him of duty.

Heading back to her office, she started writing the memo in her head. The one that would make it clear that the kittens were staying on Atlantis.

She would just have to set down some rules, about where they were allowed to roam, and about keeping any clothing worn in their presence away from her Chief Medical Officer.

Back in Rodney’s room, he carefully turned over after Elizabeth had left, and smiled a small triumphant little smile to himself. His calculated risk had worked out just like he thought it would. Settling back down, the kittens, Midnight and Stardust, and he fell into a contented sleep.

The End


	2. Intergalactic Cats: The Wanderers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part two of The Kitten Series and the cats go for a walk about!

**Intergalactic Cats: The Wanderers  
By Leesa Perrie**

**1: Settling In**

Rodney had taken on responsibility for the kittens, although he shared them with other people. After all, there had been many involved in keeping them alive, and then in the campaign to keep them on Atlantis, and although he wanted them all to himself, he didn’t want to end up with a campaign against himself from the many kitten admirers in the city.

So, they slept with him most nights, except when he was off world or pulling an all-nighter, in which case he had plenty of kitten-sitters to choose from. And during the day, there were always people who were off duty and willing to entertain the cute balls of fluff, that were rapidly growing into young hellions. Spoilt. They were totally spoilt, and Rodney knew he was the worst of the spoilers, though he’d never admit it to anyone.

The kittens had most of Atlantis wrapped around their far too cute little paws.

Except for the few who were allergic, of course. And because of allergies, everyone who kitten-sat had to ensure they wore clothes that were fur-free when in public. This usually meant leaving a set of clothes or two with a friend, and changing into them after the kittens had gone. Or in Rodney’s case, commandeering an extra room to keep his non-kitten-contaminated items in.

So far, it was working out just fine. Carson hadn’t suffered any watering eyes or sneezing fits, as had none of the other allergic Atlanteans, and the kittens were getting plenty of love and attention. 

There had even been a room set up, one with a balcony that had been carefully caged in by the engineers, for the kittens to play in. Lots of toys, lots of places to climb and to hide, and a caged in balcony for fresh air, and to watch the occasional bird or whale pass by.

They slept on top of the tables in the room, and in the chairs, and on the climbing frames, and in any hidden corners they could find. They also slept on what could be called a window-ledge, but was in fact a high shelf set in front of the window so that they could look out on days when the balcony doors were closed.. 

At nearly ten weeks old, they were growing up quickly. Full of fun and mischief. Extroverts and spoilt brats, with the curiosity that cats were famed for.

**2: The First Escape**

There was a music room in Atlantis. The expedition had discovered it in their first year, and many had jumped on the chance to learn to play Ancient, and Athosian, instruments. After contact with Earth was re-established, many Earth instruments appeared, and there were several bands of varying sorts that met and played mainly for the fun of it, though Elizabeth encouraged a few ‘concerts’ to boost morale from time to time as well.

When the kittens were ten weeks old, almost to the day, they disappeared from their playroom. No one could figure out how they had escaped, and in the end it was assumed that someone must have been careless and left the door open, as the room was kitten proof.

A frantic search found them in the music room, fast asleep on the Ancient equivalent of a piano.

They were returned to their playroom, but every so often after that a certain physicist used to smuggle them down to the music room, and they would lie on the piano-like instrument and listen to him play. No one was ever around to hear or see it, which was exactly what he wanted. The kittens seemed to find it soothing. And if he did too, well, he was keeping that to himself. 

**3: The Second Escape**

Major Lorne had spent the night escorting Dr Corrigan on an anthropological excursion to one of their friendly trading partners, whose world was out of sync with Atlantis’ day and night cycle. In other words, their day time coincided with Atlantis’ night time.

So, exhausted from being up all night, not to mention being bored out of his mind, he gratefully fell into his bed in the early hours of the morning and slept solidly until the early hours of the afternoon, when he surfaced slowly.

He opened his eyes, wondering why he felt like something was lying in the middle of his stomach, not yet awake enough to react, and looked groggily down at the black kitten snuggled up and asleep on him. 

Huh? Awareness returned quickly then, and he noticed a grey kitten snuggled up next to his leg, on the edge of his bed. He groaned. Midnight and Stardust had done it again, it seemed.

Slowly levering himself up and ignoring the indignant cries of Midnight, as she was disturbed from her nice warm and soft human, and the annoyed look Stardust threw his way as he disturbed her as well, he headed into the bathroom to take care of pressing business, and then threw on some clothes.

Over his comm he could hear the frantic search for the missing kittens, and wearily responded, letting the searchers know where they were, and that no, he had no idea how they had gotten into his room. He had gone to sleep in a kitten-free environment, and awoken to a kitten-infested bed.

Someone came to collect them, and he was able to have a shower and get on with his, thankfully, kitten-free day. 

**4: The Third Escape**

Sheppard had a shoe drawer. Okay, most people just shoved their shoes and boots onto the floor, or in a closet, but he had a shoe drawer. It was tall enough for his boots to fit, and it meant they weren’t lying around for him to trip over, and his closet was full of other, more important things, like the surfboard he’d managed to get smuggled in. Well, okay, not so much smuggled…but anyway, it took up a lot of his closet space, so his boots and shoes went into the drawer instead.

That morning he had been in a rush, and hadn’t shut the drawer properly after grabbing his boots. Not unusual, and, hey, who was around to notice or care anyway? 

After a hard day off world, trying to find a way to release McKay from the tribe who had taken him hostage on planet ‘McKay-is-our-god-and-we’re-not-letting-him-leave’. One look at McKay’s magic box, aka a life signs detector, and he was immediately deified. Only a god could detect people in such a manner, it would seem. Well, at least to the primitive, make that the crazy primitive people of that world, who were probably all drugged or something anyway. 

When Sheppard tried to show that others could also use the life signs detector, he was immediately vilified as the ‘evil trickster’. Which just proved their craziness. Who would think that McKay was a god but that he was evil? After all, he was much better looking than McKay, and had the hair to prove it.

It hadn’t been fun moment in his life, having pointy spears shoved towards him.

Fortunately, Teyla used her formidable negotiating skills to suggest that they remove the ‘evil trickster’ from their midst, and then Elizabeth had sent the Daedalus, which fortunately was on its way back from Earth at the time, and was actually in the neighbourhood of said planet, and had Hermiod beam Rodney onboard.

Which no doubt added to the natives’ belief, but at least Rodney was safe. 

That planet was now locked from the dialling computer, permanently.

He sighed, removing his boots, and opening his drawer. And stopped.

In the drawer, lying over one of his gym shoes, was a black short haired kitten, fast asleep. Just peeking out of one of his spare boots, was the fluff of a long haired grey kitten. He sighed again, activating his comm.

“McKay.”

 _“What?”_ came the disgruntled, and exhausted sounding voice of the recently un-deified, and much ribbed, astrophysicist.

“Missing something? Like, maybe, a couple of kittens?”

_“Kittens?”_

“Yes, McKay, as in Midnight and Stardust, who are happily sleeping in my quarters right now. Any idea how they got here?”

 _“Oh great. How did the little ruffians get out this time?”_ there was a sigh. _“I’ll come and get them.”_

“Thanks.”

**5: The Final Escape**

Elizabeth returned to her quarters part way through her day to change her top, which she had managed to spill coffee on. Cold coffee, fortunately.

As she entered her room, she realised that she must have left the closet door open this morning. It had surprised her to find that most rooms had a small room opening off them, but she supposed even Ancients needed closets. And a few ingeniously made and secured clothes rails and shelves later, these small rooms became walk in closets for everyone. One of the luxuries that Atlantis had to offer, and much appreciated by all.

She walked into the closet and sighed at the cardboard box on the floor. Really, she had to get round to sorting out a better place to store some of the clothes that she had been given by various trading partners as gifts. Getting rid of them, though tempting in many cases, just wasn’t an option. There might come a time when she needed to go to one of these worlds on a diplomatic mission, and wearing her gift might be culturally required so as not to cause offence. Even if they were… garish… uncomfortable… or just plain weird. 

Picking out a new top to wear she accidentally kicked the cardboard box, causing an upset mew to be heard. Startled, Elizabeth dropped her top, and then shook her head at herself. Bending down, she looked inside, and sure enough, there were two sleepy, and somewhat irritated, looking kittens inside.

She sat back on her heels, watching as they fell back to sleep, and then went to find Rodney. He could remove them back to their playroom, and this time the room was going to be checked out completely. Every little crack and crevice was to be investigated. The kittens were getting out somehow, and it needed to be stopped.

So far, nothing bad had happened, but letting them roam freely was a danger to Atlantis, as well as to themselves. Who knew what mischief they could cause?

**6: Kitten Proofing the Kitten Proof Room**

They had worked out quite quickly how the kittens were getting _in_ to people’s rooms. The air vents in Major Lorne’s, Colonel Sheppard’s and Dr Weir’s rooms, and in the music room, were loose, and there was clear evidence of where the kittens had pushed their way through. 

But how they were getting _out_ of their playroom was another thing altogether. The air vents were secure and intact.

After four successful escape attempts, Rodney and his team of kitten-sitters were determined to find and block the escape route. Scouring the room again held no clues, so Rodney had several cameras and sensors fitted, to try and catch the escapees in the act.

For three days, Midnight and Stardust behaved perfectly. They sat on laps to be petted, they played with their toys, and they slept. Innocent and sweet, Rodney was sure they were lulling people into a false sense of security. Sneaky, scheming little tykes that they were.

On the fourth day, the kittens turned up outside the infirmary, sending Carson into a sneezing fit. They were hurriedly captured and returned to their room, and the video tapes were checked, and people were amazed at the intelligence shown.

Close to the door was a low climbing frame. Midnight climbed onto the top of it, but she was still too low down to reach out and touch the door control above. So then Stardust climbed up and stood on top of Midnight, who stretched her body up as far as it would go, allowing Stardust to get high enough to stretch up and push the door control, opening the door. The kittens then jumped down and ran quickly through the door before it closed. 

Incredible, but true.

A quick removal of said climbing frame to another part of the room soon fixed the kittens’ escape attempts. Well, until the Houdini twins found another way to get out, that is.

_The poem that inspired this story:_

_**Cats  
by Eleanor Farjeon.** _

_Cats sleep_  
Anywhere,  
Any table,  
Any chair,  
Top of the piano,  
Window ledge,  
In the middle,  
On the edge.  
Open draw,  
Empty shoe,  
Anybody`s  
Lap will do.  
Fitted in a  
Cardboard box.  
In the cupboard,  
With your frocks.  
Anywhere!  
They don`t care!  
Cats sleep  
Anywhere. 

The End


	3. Intergalactic Cats: The Miscreants

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The two kittens are growing up and getting into trouble...again!

**Intergalactic Cats: The Miscreants  
By Leesa Perrie**

The kittens were growing up; recent behaviour had proved that beyond doubt, when Stardust, followed a day later by Midnight, came into heat. And let everyone know about it.

At night, they called for a male to come and see them, loudly and incessantly, forcing even Rodney to leave them in their specially created cat room, as no one could cope with that racket in their quarters when trying to work, read, relax or sleep. 

They were extra-friendly towards each other and anyone else who was close by; rubbing against people more affectionately than normal, lying around with ‘come hither’ looks on their faces, mounting each other, and just generally flirting with anything and anyone in a most unbecoming manner. And whenever someone opened a door, the kittens were there, trying to get out, wanting to find themselves a sexy tom cat, or few, to see to their needs.

It was decided that they needed to be spayed. And as soon as possible.

Fortunately a new recruit in the biology department had actually been a vet before moving into research and ending up on Atlantis, so he agreed to do the deed. The people of Atlantis heaved a huge sigh of relief at this, and an even bigger sigh of relief when the operations were over and the kittens made a full and bouncing recovery in seemingly no time at all, and peace descended once more.

\---------

Shortly after this, one of the rec rooms was deemed ‘cat friendly’, which meant that the kittens were allowed inside it while people watched movies, played games or generally just relaxed, and the cat-allergy people knew that the room was out of bounds for them. It made things easier, as even with everyone that lived in Atlantis, there were occasions when going to the special cat room was a chore; bringing them to the rec room was often a better and easier option at those times.

Stardust and Midnight loved movies and programmes with animals in them; whether they could see the screen or not was a hotly debated argument, but there was no doubting that they could hear the sounds the TV transmitted. They reacted with interest to these and, at times, with befuddlement as well. 

And then the incidences started, in the second week of cat-sitting in the rec room. Things started to disappear. Small items such as; a silver pen a physician had been using to write letters home, a gold bracelet a biologist had taken off while relaxing, a silver-plated thimble that an avid sewer had left lying around one day, a shiny hair ribbon that had been removed as a female marine literally let her hair down, a pair of glasses that a colleague had removed from a sleeping Czech, so that he wouldn’t break them in his sleep (fortunately Zelenka had spares), a silver cigarette case that was a family heirloom and had been brought down to show it off to others, a metallic mp3 player, a couple of DVDs and a Johnny Cash CD, without their cases, a few spoons and forks, a bottle of silver nail varnish, and even a couple of foil wrapped PowerBars.

At first it was assumed that the items had merely been misplaced, but as the weeks went on and more and more things disappeared, they reluctantly came to the conclusion that they had a thief in their midst. 

A strange thief, for certain, but a thief nonetheless. Perhaps someone with kleptomania? Stealing only small objects, some with value, others without. Though surely the security and psychological checks would have picked up on that before they were assigned here? 

One thing they were sure of; someone was taking these items. But who?

It was a mystery, and one that remained as the investigation proved fruitless, much to the frustration and annoyance of the senior staff, as well as the victims of theft.

\---------

It was about this time that Midnight started becoming a minor nuisance, having developed a love of laces; shoes, boots, any type of footwear with laces attracted her, and she enjoyed stealthily untying them. The first few times her victims had nearly tripped up, but word soon got around and it was a matter of course to check your laces were still tied before standing when occupying a Midnight-infested room.

Except for John Sheppard, that was. His habit of tucking his tied laces into his boots or shoes frustrated the black cat to no end. She tried unsuccessfully to pull them out without John noticing, but he always felt her less-than-stealthy moves and interrupted her fun. As a result, he never thought to check his laces before standing up; he knew he’d gotten the feline miscreant beat.

Though she still kept on trying, and he swore sometimes when she looked at him she was plotting the downfall of his shoelaces in her furry little head. But he told himself to stop being so paranoid. He had her beat, and she knew it.

\---------

Four weeks after the thieving had started, Ronon, Teyla, Rodney and John were having a team night in the cat-friendly rec room, with the adolescent females keeping them company. The movie was half way through when a noise caught their attention, and they turned to watch in bemusement as Stardust pulled a shiny metal food tray, the one they’d used to bring their shared food snacks on, along the floor.

The look of determination on her face was both amusing and beguiling, as she tugged it purposely along, before tucking it under the main couch, which was the only one with a big enough gap for a young cat to get under, and then slipping underneath to join it. 

“Okay,” John said disbelievingly, “Did I just see what I thought I did?”

“Yep,” came Ronon’s no nonsense reply.

“Shall we…?” Rodney indicated the couch with a moving motion.

“I think we need to,” John agreed, grabbing one end ready to move it. Ronon grabbed the other end and between the two of them they moved it carefully to one side.

Stardust glared up at them from her pile of spoils; all the shiny metal items that had been reported missing, along with empty, but shiny, PowerBar, chewing gum and candy wrappers. Rodney retrieved the unhappy mewling cat as the others gathered the items up, disposing of the rubbish and placing the rest onto the food tray.

“I’ll go put these in the next room and let Elizabeth know. She can have someone tell people to collect their missing items,” John said with shake of his head at the ruffled feline in Rodney’s arms, and then grinned broadly. “Well, I guess Stardust is the true definition of a cat burglar, then.”

Rodney groaned, as the other two looked confused.

“Sheppard, that was…beyond bad. Really, really terrible. I’d have thought someone with your supposed intellect could do better than that,” Rodney said, with his usual side order of sarcasm.

“What is a cat burglar?” Teyla asked, interrupting before an argument could ensue, and John left Rodney to explain it while he took the items next door. 

“Elizabeth?” he called over his radio.

_“John? I thought you were watching a movie with the rest of your team?”_

“Yeah, we were. We’ve found out who the rec room thief is.”

 _“Please tell me it isn’t Ronon, Teyla, Rodney or yourself,”_ Elizabeth said, with dry humour.

“No, no, not us. Funny thing is…it was Stardust.”

 _“Stardust?”_ came the surprised response.

“Yeah.” He went on the tell her about the food tray and the stash of shiny objects under the couch, much to her obvious amusement.

 _“And you say she collects shiny things?”_ Elizabeth said with a laugh.

“Seems like it. Guess we’d better warn anyone who uses the room when she’s around.”

_“Yes, we will. And maybe you should suggest to Rodney that he renames her Magpie.”_

John snorted.

“Right,” he drawled. “I don’t think so. He didn’t seem impressed with my cat burglar pun. Said it was terrible,” he said, feigning hurt.

_“Oh, John. I have to agree with him on that, it is terrible.”_

“Humph. Well, can you ask someone to let people know they can collect their items from the room next door? I have a movie to finish watching.”

_“I will. Enjoy the rest of the film.”_

He signed off and returned to the rec room, in time to help replace the couch. After which, the team quickly settled back down to finish watching ‘Batman Returns’.

\---------

By the time the movie had finished, Stardust had settled onto Teyla’s lap, though still sporting the look of a sulky teenaged cat on her face, and Midnight had found her way onto Rodney’s lap, purring contentedly as he stroked her.

John stood up to take the DVD out of the machine and almost tripped over his shoelaces. 

His untied shoelaces. 

He glared at his smirking team-mates and then at the black feline, that he could swear was smirking too, and who was surrounded by a lofty air of smugness; one only rivalled by McKay when he’d just done the almost impossible and saved their asses yet again.

“Cats,” he muttered sourly, as he sat back down to retie his laces. But he couldn’t help the grin that crossed his face. She’d got him good. 

This time.

The End


	4. Intergalactic Cats: The Memo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part 4 of the Kitten Series. Rodney writes a memo about the kittens...!

**Intergalactic Cats: The Memo  
by Leesa Perrie**

To: All Atlantis Personnel

From: Dr Rodney McKay, PhD, PhD

Subject: Cats

Attached: AcceptableCatTreats.doc; AcceptableCatToys.doc; BewareOfCatTricks.doc

It has come to my attention that Midnight and Stardust are getting fat. Please read the attached list of acceptable cat treats, that also includes a list of how much can be fed and when. There is a feeding sheet in the Cat Room - please use this to record what has been fed to the two greedy hellions and ensure that you do NOT go over the daily limit. And please, do NOT fall for the 'we haven't been fed today' expressions or the pleading eye routine. Really, do you people know so little about cat behaviour that you fall for these tricks? Clearly, as I have suspected, I really am surrounded by imbeciles!

Please also note the acceptable cat toy list. Midnight came close to having an operation to remove a foreign object from her body. Fortunately, the object passed through with no long term ill effects, but no one wants to see either of the rogues die from thoughtlessness! BTW, who thought that tinsel was a good idea? It's a good job Midnight only ate a small amount â€“ if she had eaten a longer string of it, an operation could not have been avoided!

Idiots!

As I am clearly surrounded by people with no cat sense WHATSOEVER, I have also attached a list of well known _and_ lesser known cat tricks. Please, do NOT fall for these. If you do, I will know that not only am I surrounded by idiots, but idiots incapable of learning!

They are CATS! You are HUMANS! They should not be able to get the better of you!

Dr McKay - Head of Science  
also - Principal Owner of Midnight and Stardust. If you disagree, tough. I hid them and bore Elizabeth's wrath for the furballs, therefore they are mine. That I agree to share them with the rest of you is purely down to practicalities â€“ I am unable to spend the time with them that I would wish, what with saving everyone's lives on a regular basis and ensuring no one blows Atlantis up!


End file.
